Alexander Institute

Why Being Assertive is So Important for Good Sex

Every single day/night, there is someone somewhere in bed on their back going through what they feel is just another round of obligatory sex. While the three times per week quota can be important to meet, biding time until your partner finishes can put more of a damper on your relationship than just having sex once a week. Sometimes it is not as much about the quantity as it is the quality, which is why it is time to get off your back and take a more active role in the bedroom. Your sex life depends on it!

By taking a more active role, you are going to have a lot more fun. Rather than figuring out the month’s budget while waiting for your partner to grind away, count how many orgasms you and/or your partner have. This is what will make sex seem less obligatory and make it more exciting for both of you.

Okay, maybe not that active.

Time to Get Freaky in Your Sex Life

Even if you have been with your partner for years, it is never too late to get freaky. You can show your partner that you still have some tricks up your sleeve, but it starts with communication. By communicating with your partner what you want and listening to what they want, you will have a better idea of what will light their proverbial fire. There is no shame in talking about what you want. Instead, the two of you can be more confident.

Secondly, start the foreplay in the morning, but don’t have sex until that night. This will get you both hot and bothered and ready to roll when the sun goes down. If you see each other throughout the day, a little teasing in passing creates even more anticipation.

Third, don’t hesitate to educate yourself through videos and other forms of media. There may be positions and other stimulating acts that may excite you. There is nothing wrong with wanting to try something new; you just might like it.

Lastly, make it a point to have sex in different rooms in the house, if possible. There is something extremely kinky about sex on the couch or the kitchen table and a lot of couples enjoy it.

If being stretched out on your back while your partner does all of the work is what constitutes your comfort zone, step out of it. By not playing an active role, you are cheating yourself and your partner out of stimulating experiences that could have a positive impact on your relationship and your life in general. Research has even shown that satisfying sex leads to increased wages, so your financial well-being relies on it as well.

Image source: James Yu

How to Roleplay in the Bedroom

We could write a book on this topic but let’s just stick to the basics for today. Learning how to roleplay can dramatically enrich your sex life. Not only is it something new to try with your partner; it’s also a hell of a lot of fun. The potential is limitless. So get out your handcuffs, your thigh highs, or your feather duster and learn all about how playing pretend adds a new dimension to your time in the bedroom.

Note: Don’t worry if you’re on a budget. You can easily pull together a fantasy look from items you already own. Or, you can just use your imagination. After all, isn’t that sort of the whole point?

Getting Ready to Roleplay

Make sure you decide on a theme before you start making out. That is, if you really want to indulge in a fantasy, talk it over with your partner first. You may need to purchase a costume or two, or at least assemble the parts from clothing and items around the house. Planning will allow you to prepare everything in advance so you’re not left scrambling in the moment.

You should also have a discussion about what’s off limits during your roleplay session, especially if you’ll be experimenting with BDSM. Come up with a safe word to let your partner know when enough is enough. Even if you’re not using bondage or anything else that could put one partner in a compromising position, it’s still a good idea to have a safe word in case something makes you uncomfortable.

In terms of what types of things you can role play? The sky’s the limit! Play cops and robbers. Bartender and patron. Teacher and student. Princess Leia and Han Solo. Seriously, anything that sounds fun and turns you on ought to do the trick. So long as you’re enjoying yourself, let loose and go wild!

Image Source: Nathanael Boehm



3 Oral Sex Tips to Try Tonight

It seems like everyone claims to be an oral sex expert these days. And while the idea that yes, a mouth and tongue on those parts is going to feel good no matter what, there are ways to make the experience more enjoyable for both partners. That’s what we’re going to look at today in these three oral sex tips.

#1: Get the Element of Surprise on Your Side

Yes, hopping in bed at night, rolling over and deciding to have sex is plenty of fun. But wouldn’t it be nice sometimes for sex to come at an unexpected time? Like right when your spouse gets home from work? Surprise him or her as soon as they walk through the door. Passionately kiss and keep your clothes on as you work your oral magic. It’ll make for plenty of sly glances at one another for the rest of the evening, that’s for sure.

#2: Teasing is Your Friend

Even when combined with the first tip here, there’s no need to rush things. Anticipation for your mouth sliding down him is certain to get him hot, hot, hot. Or, you can kiss her inner thigh for just a little bit too long as she squirms beneath you. Taking your time always results in a more enjoyable experience.

#3: Relax

This is probably the most important of the three oral sex tips on our list. Why? Because if you’re not relaxed, you’re not going to enjoy yourself. And it really, really shows when you’re not enjoying it. Looking like you’re not into it is a real turnoff for your partner. So take a deep breath, relax those shoulders, and glance up at your partner to offer a sly grin before you get down to business.

Why These Oral Sex Tips?

We realize that there are many more tips to try out than these three. However, we came up with these three because they apply to most couples and offer the most versatility. Basically, you’ll get a lot of mileage out of them and they apply to both men and women, gay or straight. Now go have some fun. ;)

Image source: Lynda Sanchez

Seek Experts’ Advice To Explore Best Sex Positions For A Great Sensual Experience

Sex is the primary need of humans. If they are unable to satisfactorily fulfill their sensual urge, this affects the quality of life they lead as well as has a negative impact on their health and well-being. The stress of modern life coupled with long hours at work and less time for their loved ones has been responsible for playing havoc with the sexual life of people, leading to broken relationships. People nowadays are facing various issues like lack of sex drive, inability to satisfy the sexual desire of their partners and similar other related sex problems. But these problems are not too difficult to address. With proper guidance and counseling from experts like sexologists, sex therapists, psychologists and other professionals who have good knowledge about various sex related matters, people can get rid of their sexual problems and can start once again leading an invigorating and fulfilling sex life.

These experts would provide people knowledge about various sex related problems and matters and suggest to them relevant solutions. They would enable them to explore new and interesting ways of stimulating their sexual desire and let them discover the best sex positions for attaining a quality and satisfying sensual experience. Also, they would suggest to people to watch DVDs, VODs and books that contain sexually explicit information for arousing their sensuality and for enabling them to achieve an elevated sexual experience.

These sex experts would encourage people to openly talk about sex problems they are facing, so the right remedy can be found for them. They would motivate them to try out new and exciting ways of having sex. This would not only enable them to improve the quality of sex they are doing, but would also lead to forging of trustful and happy relationships with their lovers and partners. Consequently breakups and other negative outcomes among lovers and partners can be avoided.

Alexander Institute is such a prominent online platform where reputed and experienced sexologists, therapists and other professionals are providing useful and enriching knowledge to people about matters related to their sex life. Whether you are keen to know about ways for attainingthe best sex position for women and men, improving your sexual urge, increasing your libido or seeking information about any other sex related issues or matters, you would find their advice and tips to be quite useful in stimulating your sensual urge and for achieving an enhanced sexual experience. Here you would also find sexually explicit DVDs, books, VODs and toys for stimulating your sex drive. With the guidance provided by these experts, you can significantly enhance your sensual experience and thus can lead a quality and fulfilling life.



Tips for Trying Anal Sex

For many couples, anal sex is the last frontier. We could make all sorts of puns but we’ll resist the urge and just say this sexual activity is considered taboo by some yet intrigues most. Despite what you might have heard, trying anal sex doesn’t have to be painful or unpleasant. In fact, it can make for a new go-to option when you find yourself in the mood.

When Trying Anal Sex for the First Time…

Get in the right mindset. You need to want to do this if you have any hopes of it being enjoyable. Don’t let anyone, your partner included, coerce you into trying anal sex if you truly don’t want to. That being said, if you really do want to give it a try, relax as much as possible. Practice deep breathing and enjoy massage together before attempting penetration.

Speak up. You need to be vocal when attempting anal, not just the first time, but every time. You see, the tissues down there are very sensitive and can tear very easily. You don’t want to deal with that. So, if something hurts, say so. You can always slow down and approach things more delicately.

Use lube. The rectum doesn’t produce its own lubrication so make sure to load up on the stuff before insertion. Even if you’re just experimenting with inserting fingers, you should still use lube. A water-based lubricant is best because it washes off the easiest and is compatible with condoms.

Use a condom. Yes, you should totally use condoms when trying anal sex. This protects both partners from infection. If you decide to switch to vaginal intercourse part way through, be sure to put on a new condom to prevent the possible spread of bacteria into the vagina.

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Not Having Good Sex? Change It!

So many people get stuck in a rut. It happens to the best of us. Still, that’s no reason to just accept it. If you’re not having good sex, take steps right now to change it. Bad sex doesn’t have to be a fact of life for you. So put in a little effort and you’ll see a positive change in your sexual satisfaction and your relationship.

Tips for Having Good Sex

For many couples, sex loses its luster when other major life events are going on. Having a baby, dealing with a loss in the family, or other big stressors can upset balance in your life and make it difficult to get in the mood. One of the best tips for good sex we can give you is to put it on your calendar. Life is stressful. And if stress affects your libido, unless you make time for sex, you won’t have it. So, put getting frisky on your calendar until you get back in the groove.

Being open to trying new things is another must. If you’re closed-minded or shut off to the possibility of new sexual horizons, you’re not going to see a change. Instead, talk it over with your partner and see if there’s not something you’d both like to try you’ve never done before. Even talking about experimenting can be quite a turn on.

On a similar note, communicating with your partner is important. If you want to have good sex, you need to talk about what you like and what you don’t like. Your partner can’t read your mind. Let him or her in on what feels good to you and you might just see a dramatic improvement in your sex life.

5 Sexual Communication Tips

For some reason, a lot of people think sexual technique is ingrained. That is, we’re born with certain knowledge about sex and that’s all we need to be good at it. However, that’s just not true! While we are born with a biological desire to reproduce, technique is learned. And if you really want to satisfy your partner, you’ll need to boost your sexual communication skills.

How to Improve Your Sexual Communication

You really only need to do a few things to improve your sexual communication. I’ve broken them down as follows:

Listen. If your partner tells you they want to talk or they offer up some insights as to what they enjoy in the bedroom, listen! Take note and try to meet their needs. You can’t improve anything if you aren’t willing to receive feedback or even criticism. But that’s no reason to be rude. If you’re the one giving feedback, be gentle in your phrasing.

Ask Questions. No, your rendezvous don’t need to feel like interrogation sessions but you can always ask questions like, “Does that feel good?” to encourage some feedback.

Be Honest. Of course, the above won’t work unless you’re honest with one another. Come to an agreement before you get into a sexual situation that you will give each other real feedback in the moment. If your partner says something isn’t working for them, you can try something new. And isn’t that the whole point? To have fun better learning each other’s bodies? To learn to please each other completely and totally?

It’s only through open sexual communication that you can make this possible, however. So get to it!

Image Source: Rupert Ganzer


Get Off Your Back: Taking a More Active Role in Your Sex Life

It’s normal for couples to fall into a bit of a routine when it comes to sex but that doesn’t mean you have to take it lying down. What I mean is, if you find yourself on your back a lot during sex, there are things to do to increase your participation. Getting more active in your sex life can spell a significant boost in the hotness factor.

Taking Charge of Your Sex Life

One of the first things you can do is change positions. If you are always on the bottom during sex, try getting on top or performing a different position that allows you to take more control of the situation. Side-lying is also good because you share the effort a bit more evenly. You can talk about what new positions you’d like to try with your partner or just suggest it in the middle of the fun.

Even if you are on the bottom though, that’s no reason to lie there like a lump! You can move, you know. Raise your hips to meet each thrust. Wrap your legs around your partner and nudge his behind with your heels. Wrap your arms around him and pull him closer. Scratch your nails across his back. Get creative!

You can also reach down and play with his testicles. Or, touch yourself to add a little bit more visual stimulation for him and physical stimulation for you. Many women can’t reach orgasm without clitoral stimulation so this can definitely serves a dual purpose.

Another fun thing to do is if your partner is used to you being on the bottom then surprise them by switching positions in the middle of sex. Take control of the situation. It’ll be unexpected and appreciated.

Image source: Sarah Scicluna

Stripping Tips: Be Provocative for Your Partner

You’ve got to get undressed to have sex (well, for the most part) so why not make it a little bit more fun? Instead of ripping each other’s clothes off all the time why not employ the art of seduction into your bedroom play? Undressing for your partner is hot. That’s why we’ve put together these stripping tips to get you started.

3 Stripping Tips

Here are a few quick tips to make getting sexy in the bedroom just a little bit easier.

  1. Go Slow: Is there a fire? If not, what’s the rush? Take your time when undressing in front of your partner. Practice the art of the tease. Slow and steady wins the race here. I mean, you’re going to end up having sex anyway, so why not prolong the fun a bit by building up the anticipation for the big reveal?
  2. Put on Some Music: But don’t feel obligated to dance. If you lack rhythm, you could just wind up looking or feeling awkward. Sway to the beat as you undress. At the very least, it minimizes the temptation to talk or poke fun at the situation. Really invest in the moment.
  3. Get Your Partner’s Input: If this is the first time you’ve ever stripped for your partner, then get her or his input. Is there are particular outfit he’d like you to wear? A particular song she’d like you to play? Getting feedback means ensuring you both have a fantastic time and increases the likelihood that this form of sexual play will be added to your regular roster.

I hope these stripping tips have been helpful to you. Now go and have some fun!

Image source: boris drenec

Written by Dr. Patti Britton — February 27, 2017

How Feeling Sexy Makes You Sexy

When it’s time to get intimate, it’s easy to get caught up “in your head.” That is, you can lose track of the moment and spend the time you should be getting busy thinking. And let me tell you, that’s no fun at all. Today, we’re going to discuss a quick action plan for being 100% totally sexy and committed to the moment: by feeling sexy!

Feeling Sexy is Easier Than You Think

All of us have hangups. It’s just the truth. But if you have serious issues regarding sex, it might be a good idea to seek out professional help. A mere blog post isn’t going to help you get over what ails you. However, if your hangups are in the “normal” range, you can likely address them through the power of positive thinking.

You see, feeling sexy is all about attitude.

You ever heard of that phrase, “fake it till you make it?” I’m not talking about faking orgasms here, because that’s no fun for anybody. But what I am saying is you can put on a faux exterior that exudes confidence, even if you don’t feel that way inside. Walk around appearing confident and pretty soon people are going to start treating you like you actually are confident.

And guess what? Confidence is sexy.

So in a way, it’s a feedback loop: you act confident, people treat you as though you’re confident, you feel sexier, and suddenly you are sexier.

If you’re feeling uninspired in the bedroom because you think you’re unattractive or just not sexy, set yourself out on a course to total sexiness by having confidence in yourself. The feedback you’ll get is certain to make you feel hot and give your partner inspiration to jump in bed with you more frequently. You see? Everybody wins!

Image Source: We Heart It

Written by Dr. Patti Britton — February 20, 2017