Loss of Sexual Desire

Loss of Sexual Desire

One of the increasingly common problems facing couples today is the loss of sexual desire, and it’s also a difficult problem for the therapists trying to help them. The reasons for this loss can be multi-faceted, and one of the key solutions is to deal with it realistically.

It requires a commitment to first face the problem. Include your partner in a frank and honest discussion, and address all of your concerns and feelings.

The erosion of desire is sometimes due to changes in your medical condition. These can be hormonal or otherwise.  Accumulated anger or stress, or a desire to try new things when you’ve been with the same partner for a long time can also diminish desire. In older couples, the fear of growing old, combined with the reality of watching yourself or your spouse age, can have a negative impact on sexual wants.

Dr. Patti Britton, a Certified Sexuality Educator, Clinical Sexologist and Sex Coach, addresses this issue in the FAQ section of LovingSex.com

Dr. Patti advises that one of the worst things you can do if you’re dealing with a loss of desire is have an affair or change partners.  She considers this self-defeating as it can ultimately lead to a loss of the partner you still love - if not as a result of guilt, then as a result of your partner feeling betrayed.

As with most emotional conflicts, one of the hardest things to do is be open and honest. But discussing the situation with your spouse or partner is usually the first helpful step toward a positive result. The goal is to lead the two of you to life-changing revelations that advance you toward a more satisfying love life. You may be surprised to find out that your partner is feeling the same way. Your relationship will only thrive if you can both rekindle the desire that you once shared. So address the issue and work on it together as a couple.

Maybe you can spice up your love life with a few toys or some simple touching and caressing. Reminisce about your love history, and how good it used to be. Tell each other stories about how you used to make love. Explore when the romance began to fade. Did a feeling of marital duty or partner obligation take its place?

Talk about how to create sex you both enjoy more, and desire usually follows. Don’t be afraid to communicate your concerns. Working together as partners is one of the most effective ways to bring the sizzle back into your love life.