Tips and techniques on massage for women abound online, but more than just a physical action, massage is also a type of therapy, sex therapy if you will, and the art of sex therapy includes both partners being in the right state of mind.

You can learn new ways of relating erotically and sexually and sensually, and may be one of you may say, “You know, honey, I’m not willing to do that right now,” or “If we’re going to play a sexy game and you’re going to feed me, I want to make sure that I trust you to put something I like in my mouth,” or many other ideas that communicate directly to your partner what you are or are not willing to do. It all builds trust in each other, which allows you to try more different and adventurous sexual experiences.

Personal boundaries are important, and I encourage you to talk to each other honestly, and set those boundaries so you feel comfortable exploring new things together. Then you can push your envelope a bit further. Be daring and bold. Push your personal – and your couple - envelope.

Some times what makes a sexual relationship really cook and feel great is a sense of connection and often even a spiritual union. That’s something I encourage you to look for. Be daring and bold and adventure some, and open it up, but also look for the quiet part of your connection. Create the kind of safety and the structure for how you’re going to try new things and spice up your relationship with variety. Find new techniques, or anchor into specific things that you can think about, or talk about, or do. That communication helps you to reboot, recharge, re-spark and reconnect.

The number one thing in a good physical relationship is relaxation. Massage for women is one of the most common and easiest ways that a woman can relax. So learning tips and techniques for even the most simple, gentle massage is a great start for men. Another important aspect of the Art of Sex Therapy can be simply getting away from your usual environment. Plan a weekend getaway and let the change of atmosphere encourage you to also change your sexual routine. Surprise each other by trying new things. You can even let nature inspire you. A gorgeous setting, with the blue sky and the trees and the sound of birds and nature and water all around you - all of that can encourage and inspire and awaken new sexual feelings.

Sex doesn’t always require a bedroom. Let yourself slow down and incorporate everything around you into your next sexual experience. The idea of awakening yourself is itself a turn-on that can bring all your senses into your lovemaking.

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