You’ve leafed innocently through the pages of many magazines and you have come across some sex tips that seriously make you scratch your head. However, while you may have scratched your head, someone else may have been brazen enough to try them. Some may have success, some may just endure a little embarrassment, and others may actually find themselves or their partner injured. They are now making television shows about sex landing people in the ER. You do not want to be one of those people.
Keep reading. This photo will make sense :)
Don’t Shake His Nuts
Yes, don’t shake his nuts. Do not ever trust any kind of advice that tells you that shaking his testicles will give him some sort of satisfaction. The fact is that he could actually get hurt. You’re not playing Craps with his balls.
With that said, avoid these 5 insane sex tips:
Nibble his scrotum skin – You should beware if the words “bite” and “scrotum” make an appearance in the same sentence. Think of kangaroos and how when they fight, they use the claws on their hind feet to rip at the scrotum of their opponent. The goal in this attack strategy is to kill each other through scrotal trauma. So yeah, don’t nibble.
Pull his pubic hair – This one may make you cringe just reading it. Just because someone else has tried it doesn’t mean that you should. If you’ve ever heard a guy say, “She’s got me by the short hairs,” he is not saying that in a positive way.
Put the feather down – There seems to be a thing about “sneezegasms.” Pull out a feather, make him sneeze, and give him 1/7th of an orgasm. How in the world do you quantify 1/7th of an orgasm? Apparently there are some people out there who really enjoy sneezing. Good for them.
Handle his manhood like an udder – Any man who says his unit is not sensitive and to handle it like a cow’s udder is someone who really loves some pain. If you were to squeeze and pull like you were trying to milk it, he’d be screaming. Just remember in junior high when your health teacher taught you “grab, twist, and pull” to incapacitate a rapist and see why this is not a good idea.
Rugburn – remember when you were a kid and your sibling, cousin, or friend may have grabbed your arm and squeezed and twisted, causing the skin to move in two opposite directions? Do that to a penis and you will put him in the hospital. If you want to put him in the hospital, that’s one thing. If you don’t, that’s another.
So if you ever see these tips or any like them in a magazine or online, take them for what they are and give them the good laugh that they deserve. Then learn some real sex techniques to blow your partner away.
Image source: Flickr