by Coleen Singer at Sssh.com Erotica For Women
I’ve read a whole bunch of ‘tips’ on how to have better sex; sometimes they work and many times they’re just a bunch of crock. I’ve heard about Tantric sex but being me, I’ve also been too lazy to actually explore it in the way that would actually be beneficial. Cuz things like these, you can’t half ass it if you want to see some kind of results. You need to throw yourself in there and gaze into his/her eyes like you mean it and I’m just too antsy to sit still for so long.
That said, I do have to share an experience I had a while back with a wonderful man I met who also happened to be trained to stroke. What is stroking? Well according to the good people at One Taste, it quite literally is stroking your clitoris for 15 minutes because of it’s uh, therapeutic benefits. I’m sure there’s a better way to put it, but seriously whatever the therapeutic experience is, it was still me sitting there, legs akimbo, in an orgasmic state for 15 minutes. I. was. sold.
Anyway, when he began the experience was so thrilling and orgasmic, I did what I usually do when I was orgasmic, begin to focus my attention on my orgasm. Because hell yeah I wanted to reach that peak and explode in glory! Without even realising it, I had been holding my breath in anticipation. But stroking isn’t about getting to orgasm, it’s about being in an orgasmic state.
So he told me to breathe. I hadn’t even realized that I had been holding it in. I took a breath in, immediately I lost that ‘gonna peak feeling’, which was a little frustrating. But then he told me to take a deep breaths.
“Breathe into your stomach,” he said.
Sensations spread all over me. Not the same as having an orgasm, instead it felt like all the feelings concentration in my vaginal area just spread out so now my whole body was feeling all that yummy goodness.
Bear in mind, I was young, so this was my reaction:
“That’s insane!! WHOA!!!”
Still not getting that the goal wasn’t to have orgasms, I promptly went back to trying to get off. To which he gently guided me to breathe again.
This time, “Breathe into your your vagina.”
And then, “Breathe into your toes.”
I’m not sure if what he was doing was actually a part of the stroking techniques taught at One Taste, but whatever it was, it was driving me insane. Sensations were spreading all over my body, almost as if I was riding a big, orgasmic wave.
It was insane.
I didn’t cum then, but I was breathless after he was done; My whole body tingling. I wanted more of course, but that’s another story.
The point I’m trying to make is that breathing into your body does do good things while having sex. We tend to have shallow, quick breathing when we’re having sexy time. Just a few deep breaths can help slow things down, bring some awareness to our bodies and just help us feel more. And all of this contributes to having better orgasms.
It sure as hell helped me get into myself more!
About Coleen Singer
Coleen Singer is a writer, photographer, film editor and all-around geeky gal at Sssh.com, where she often waxes eloquent about sex, porn, sex toys, censorship, the literary and pandering evils of Fifty Shades of Grey and other topics not likely to be found on the Pulitzer Prize shortlist. She is also the editor and curator of EroticScribes.com. When she is not doing all of the above, Singer is an amateur stock-car racer and enjoys modifying vintage 1970s cars for the racetrack. Oh, she also likes porn.