Come As You Are

Come As You Are

Simon & Schuster
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$22.00
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Curated by Alexander Institute since 1997.
Discreet packaging
Data never sold
AASECT-reviewed

The story

Emily Nagoski's modern classic reframes the question many women have quietly asked themselves: am I normal? Her answer, grounded in the science of arousal, is almost always yes. She builds the book around the dual-control model — the idea that desire runs on both an accelerator and a set of brakes — and shows why context, stress, and what she calls responsive desire matter far more than any imagined "low libido." Warm, rigorous, and genuinely freeing, this is the one we'd hand to anyone who suspects their body came with the wrong manual. Best for women rethinking desire, and the partners who want to understand it.

OUR EDITORIAL STANDARD

Body-safe materials. Brands we trust.

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Questions before you buy?

Will this arrive in discreet packaging?
Yes — all orders ship in plain, unmarked boxes with no product names and no brand logos on the outside. We ship discreetly on every order, automatically.
What's your return policy?
Sex toys can't be returned once opened — that's an industry-standard hygiene rule, not specific to us. For defective or damaged items: we'll replace or refund. Email us and we'll handle it.
Is this product body-safe?
We carry only products that meet our editorial standard: body-safe materials, no phthalates, no BPA, no latex in products marketed for internal use. Our board sets the bar; this product meets it.
How do I clean it?
For non-motorized toys: warm water and mild soap, or a dedicated toy cleaner. For motorized or electronic toys: wipe with a damp cloth and toy cleaner — don't submerge unless the product is rated waterproof. Waterproof rating is noted in the specs section when applicable.
Is this rechargeable?
Check the specs section on this page for charging details. Most modern vibrators and massagers include a USB-C or magnetic charger. Battery-powered products are noted clearly in the Materials & specs accordion above.
Can I order anonymously?
Yes — guest checkout is available, no account required. We ship in plain packages with no external branding. The charge on your card statement appears as "Alexander Institute" — the parent company that owns Loving Sex, nothing that identifies the product type.